19-year-old groom in Tuburan, Basilan marries two brides

In Tuburan, Basilan, a 19-year-old groom tied the knot with his two brides in a traditional Islamic wedding ceremony.

Adbulwally’s brides are 19-year-old Nurhaima and 20-year-old Nurhana.

Although they have already married, the three don’t reside under the same roof.

Nurhaima has already moved into Abdulwally’s house in Lamitan City, while Nurhana is still living with her parents.

“Nakiusap kasi ‘yung nanay niya sa akin na sabi niya dito na siya sa akin si Nurhaima. Ang point hindi sila magkasama sa isang bahay. Mahal ko po silang dalawa,” Abdulwally said in the latest episode of “Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho.” 

[“Nurhaima’s mom told me that Nurhaima has to live with me. But she should not live with Nurhana. I love them both.”]

According to the report, Abdulwally is still studying in college, while Nurhaima took a break from studying.

“‘Pag nakapagtapos na po ako ng pag-aaral, tapos maghahanap ng trabaho and plano ko po patayuan sila ng sariling bahay po. Isa-isa po sila para pare-parehas sila kasi magkakapamilya kami,” Abdulwally said.

[“Once I graduate, I will find a job and build separate houses for my brides because I want to build a family with them.”]

He visits his other wife, Nurhana, at their home. She’s the one assigned to prepare food and wash their clothes, while Abdulwally is assigned to rinse the clothes and hang them up to dry.

Abdulwally admitted that he’s still adjusting following their wedding, especially since he has two wives.

Abdulwally and Nurhana’s story

Abdulwally first met and fell in love with Nurhana in 2022. He added her on Facebook and they got to talking after he replied to her post.

The pair spoke for a long time, and they went out to eat and took trips to the beach.

Nurhana said she accepted to be Abdulwally’s girlfriend because “Mapagbigay siya, ma-effort. Sinusundo niya ako sa school.”

[“He is generous and thoughtful. He would pick me up from school.”]

Like other young couples, they said that LQ or lovers’ quarrel is common for them. Ten months into the relationship, they broke up. Nurhana said they could not understand each other and they stopped speaking.

Abdulwally meets Nurhaima

To heal his broken heart, Abdulwally gave love another shot and fell in love with Nurhaima.

He messaged Nurhaima on Facebook and soon started courting her. Nurhaima said she agreed to be his girlfriend when they met up in person.

Two months into their relationship, Abdulwally asked Nurhaima to live with him. Nurhaima said she second-guessed it, because she still had dreams she wanted to pursue. But love prevailed, so Nurhaima quit school to join Adbulwally.

“Para hindi na daw ako mawala sa kanya. Nu’ng January 14 nagtanan na kami,” she said.

[“So that we won’t be separated from each other, we eloped last January 14.”]

The next day, they were wed in a ceremony called halal.

Nurhana’s proposal

The news of the couple’s wedding reached Abdulwally’s ex-girlfriend, Nurhana. So she came to a difficult decision, and visited Abdulwally’s family and asked to be married to their son.

Nurhaima, however, did not like Nurhana’s proposal.

Abdulwally said that he told Nurhaima that Nurhana is his ex, and that Nurhaima did not approve. However, the parents approved, so she eventually gave in. 

Raffih, Abdulwally’s father, said that they have already talked to the parents of the other party. They agreed with the setup and gave the dowry. They also added that they are ready to guide the children.

Their wedding ceremony, which is called duwaya for the Moro group Yakan, was held on February 9.

Nurhaima had mixed feelings—she was excited because it was a wedding, but she was still hurt.

“Magkahati kami. Kasi baka ganun talaga ang itinadhana sa amin,” Nurhana said.

[“I have to share my husband with another girl. Maybe that’s our destiny”]

Islam’s marital practice

Yakan representative Uztadz Bayani said that according to the Holy Quran, a man is allowed to marry four women.

“Puwede po mag-asawa ang isang lalaki ng dalawa, tatlo, apat. Hanggang apat lang po. Accepted po, unless that he can sustain and maintain sa anong kinakailangan ng kanyang pamilya,” he said.

[“In Islam, a man can marry multiple women, as long as he can provide for them.”]

“Ang prophet Muhammad, hindi po layunin niya mag-asawa nang marami. Ang sinusundan niya, paano niya matulungan ang mga babae na mahirap ang kalagayan. Hindi lang basta-basta sundan natin ang ating desire. Pero ikakabuti lang sa ating mga kapatiran na kababaihan,” he added.

[“Prophet Muhammad’s intention is not to have multiple spouses. He wanted to help women who were in difficult situations. It’s not about blindly following our desires, but helping the women in our community.”]

Abdulwally said that he doesn’t mind the naysayers.

“Pabayaan lang ang mga basher kasi hindi nila alam kung ano ang totoong istorya. Sa amin, alam namin ang totoo. Puwede pong magmahal mahigit sa isa kapag pantay-pantay ang pagmamahal mo, tulad sa amin, mahal ko silang dalawa. Mahal ko sila at mahal nila ako,” he said.

[“I don’t mind those who disagree with our set up. They dont know the full story. I love both of my wives equally, and they love me back.”]

Abdulwally shared that so far, their marriage is still going well.

“Sa ngayon kasi bago pa lang kasi kami, wala pa masyadong mga conflict. OK lang naman ngayon ‘yung mga hindi nila pagkakasunduan pero naaayos din naman kaagad. Normal naman sa buhay may asawa, kahit isang babae nga, nag-aaway din, paano pa sa mga dalawa?” he said.

[‘We’re still new to all of this. We don’t have conflicts often. But when we do, we manage to resolve them quickly. And that’s normal.”]

On the other hand, Nurhaima and Nurhana admitted that they are not close to each other.

Family counselor Dr. Vicente Panganiban said “Ang laging tinitignan kasi is number one is loyalty. So sino si lalaki, sino ‘yung sa mga babae ang mas loyal siya? Number two is oras. So kailangan mabigyan niya ng tamang oras sa bawat isa.”

[“One of the things we should consider is the husband’s loyalty. Is he more loyal to one wife than the other? He should also be able to spend time with the both of them.”] 

“Next consideration naman is ‘yung amount ng pagmamahal. Sa mga ganyang klaseng relasyon it all boils down talaga na ‘yung paano nila naiintindihan yung isa’t isa.” he added.

[“The next thing we have to consider is the amount of love they have for each other. They have to be able to understand one another.”]

Abdulwally, however, maintained that he loves both of his wives.

“Mahal ko sila tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko, sa magulang ko. Part na po sila ng aking buhay.”

[“I love them as much as I love myself and my parents. They are a part of my life.”]

—JCB, GMA Integrated News